Beach Storm

One of my favorite things to do around here is to watch a storm come in across Lake Michigan. With a whiny two-year-old and a bored twelve-year-old and a storm on its way, we decided to head out to the lake tonight. It was gorgeous! Here's a few of the pics we snapped:

Unfortunately, it hit north of us pretty hard and only rained for about ten minutes here. I think rain is my favorite part of any storm. We still had fun. Despite the whiny two-year-old on the way home and the twelve-year-old begging for French fries. :)

Post Book Deal & The Fog

I never gave much thought to what my life would be like after a book deal. There's still a lot of angst and worry and doubt. After reading posts by writers in similar situations, I was kind of prepared for it.

What I wasn't prepared for was what it would feel like to work on a totally new project.

Pre Book Deal, if I started something I loved, there was all this excitement and hope, because it could be The One that the world got to read.

But now, with three books under contract, I feel myself stalling every now and then on this new project because I'm not really sure what will happen with it. I love it. All sorts of love it. But will it ever be published? Should I write it just for the fun of it? There is this loud nagging voice in my head that says I WANT THE WORLD TO READ THIS! I know that feeling won't last. As soon as I hit the middle, I'll probably hate the project. But right this very second I'm sad because I don't know what to do with it.

In some respects, I think you could consider it a dystopian, and we all know what the industry is saying about that trend. I didn't set out to write a dystopian. As a matter of fact, I've done everything I can NOT to write a dystopian.

Though, there are a lot of elements that could be considered fantasy too. I'm trying to focus on that aspect as I write it. Because I'm the type of person who hates writing to trends, despite the fact that I gobble up trend articles as fast as the industry puts them out.

So what is this new project anyway? I'm calling it The Fog. Go ahead and tell me how clever and witty that title is! If you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen me mention it. I just can't stop myself from talking about it! It's only at 8000 words, but I like the direction it's going. And despite the fact that I'm not sure what'll happen to it, I'm going to keep writing it for as long as I stay interested.

I am Official

Look what arrived on my doorstep today:

 It's a Little, Brown contract and it is MINE!

So I guess now I'm really, really official?

Zombie Quarterly --- Fall 2010

How about another MEAT magazine? I made this one for my agent. I mean, it's the perfect gift, right?

Being You

I am the Jekyll and Hyde of confidence. Some days I am so confident in who I am and what I’m doing, I want to shout it from every available rooftop. But other days (and they happen more often than I’d like), I avoid the Internet and computer at all costs. I’d much rather lie on the couch in a puddle of ugh and watch movies all day long.

And why is that? Is it normal? Or is this a characteristic of writers only?

I think it's hard being an artist of any form. You have this need to create. You can’t ignore it. You can’t avoid it. It is a part of who you are. And with that need comes the need to share it. And sharing it means sharing you. Everything an artist puts out there reveals a piece of who that person is.

Inevitably, you worry about how people will view you. Will they like me? Am I annoying? Do I seem unoriginal?

I want people to like me, obviously. But at what cost? Should I not say A, B and C because Group D might think I’m lame? And should I care if Group D thinks I’m lame?

It’s all very high school, isn’t it?

When these thoughts creep in, I try to tap into that part of me That Does Not Care. It’s a small part. It has a tiny corner in the Library of Jenn. But it’s there. And when I tell myself, Self, you can only be you and if someone doesn’t like you, you don’t need them anyway, I feel a million times better.

In the grand scheme of things, I must live my life the way I want to live my life. Because if I try to please everyone, and be what everyone else wants me to be, then who am I? I wouldn’t be Jenn anymore. I’d be Them.